Embracing Generative Conflict
Engaging in generative conflict and repair is a vital capacity for people-leaders and aspiring allies in DEI.
"Conflicts don't create problems, they reveal them."
-Dan Mahle
Why Talk About Conflict?
Conflict is a paradox. It has the power to tear us apart and also the potential to bring us together in deeper trust and connection. Whether you’re someone who tends to be more conflict-indulgent or conflict-avoidant, engaging in conflict is a part of life.
Simply put, conflict exists when new information enters a system. In a rapidly changing world, new information is always arriving. What this means is that conflict is inevitable.
So what can we do to work with conflict in ways that minimize harm and maximize connection? How can we stay grounded in the midst of intensity? How can we work with conflict in ways that are generative?
What Is Generative Conflict?
Generative conflict is a way of engaging with conflict that is designed to generate more possibilities, greater connection, and fuller expression, instead of shutting those things down.*
How can conflict generate greater connection? For many of us, participating in conflict has meant the opposite: painful disconnection, strained relationships, and broken trust.
Generative conflict invites us to notice and voice our truths, to be more courageous in taking a stand for what we value, and to trust ourselves to work with and move through challenging and uncomfortable moments without losing touch with our shared humanity - and our capacity to learn and grow.
Conflict is always present. Whether it is surfaced and worked with generatively, explosive, or swept under the rug, goes a long way to determining the health of an individual relationship and - at scale - an organization's culture.
*Source: The WildFire Project
Why Is Conflict & Repair Critical In DEI work?
Many of us have learned to avoid conflict, even when that means staying silent when we want to speak up, not sharing the truth about our emotions or experiences, or avoiding difficult conversations and sensitive topics - like racism, sexism, grief, shame, etc.
Systems of Oppression (like structural racism and sexism) are designed to become normalized to such an extent that even just talking about them can create conflict. Those of us who benefit from disproportionate structural power and access often seek to avoid conflict that would make us feel uncomfortable. And yet, in failing to recognize and face conflicts that already exist, we often end up amplifying inequity and enabling injustice. By trying to ensure that everyone ‘gets along’ and is ‘nice to each other’ we often end up inadvertently creating far less inclusive cultures.
DEI work is full of conflict. Engaging in this work as an aspiring ally can be deeply confronting and uncomfortable. We don't want to make mistakes that cause harm to those we seek to stand with. And yet, making mistakes and learning is often the way change happens. Let’s build skills to lean into this inevitable conflict together…
About The Program
Embracing Generative Conflict (EGC) is a 4-part learning program for people-leaders, managers, and aspiring allies in diversity, equity, and inclusion work. Through interactive Group Sessions and small-group Practice Pods, we’ll dive into a deeper understanding of conflict and the important role it can play in building trust and partnership across lines of difference.
» Group Session 1 [120 mins] - We’ll explore what conflict is and the different types of conflict. We’ll also look at what needs to be in place for conflict to be generative instead of disconnecting.
» Practice Pod [60-90 mins, TBD] - Practice Pods are peer-to-peer small group sessions to practice skills and integrate key learnings from the Group Sessions.
» Group Session 2 [120 mins] - We’ll dive into the foundational skillsets for engaging in conflict generatively. We’ll learn how to surface what’s present for us in the moment, explore common emotions that arise in conflict, and practice empathic listening and non-violent communication.
» Practice Pod [60-90 mins, TBD] - Practice Pods are peer-to-peer small group sessions to practice skills and integrate key learnings from the Group Sessions.
» Group Session 3 [120 mins] - We’ll move into practice space for engaging in conflicts that arise in diversity, equity, and inclusion work. We’ll focus on understanding the role of power in conflict and how to hold power together in ways that support more thriving and inclusive cultures.
» Practice Pod [60-90 mins, TBD] - Practice Pods are peer-to-peer small group sessions to practice skills and integrate key learnings from the Group Sessions.
» Group Session 4 [120 mins] - We’ll look at how intersectional dimensions of our identities (race, gender, etc.) impact the way we relate to conflict - including our racialized and gendered enculturation. Finally, we’ll dive into some common conflict flash-points that arise in antiracism and gender equity work and ways to navigate them together.
Request This Program
If you’d like learn more about bringing this program to your organization, please be in touch by clicking “Learn More” below. Thank you.
About The Facilitators
Leonie Smith is a first-generation Canadian of Jamaican heritage. Born in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, she now calls Vancouver, British Columbia her home.
Her work and life are centred around sharing people-centred modalities such as Nonviolent Communication, Restorative and Transformative Justice practices, and Sociocracy to support people who are traditionally marginalised to show up in their full humanity and step toward their individual and collective liberation.
She is a founder and co-founder of three organisations. The Thoughtful Workplace, a coaching, and consultancy practice that uses relational and skill-building approaches to coaching, training and systems development. People of Colour for Nonviolent Communication (POC4NVC), an international network for Black, Indigenous People of Colour (BIPOC) who are connected to principles of nonviolence. Necessary Trouble Collective (NTC) a consultancy and training organisation dedicated to supporting movements, communities and activist groups find harmonious ways of being and working so that they can remain focused on their shared purpose.
She is a trainer and core team member for East Point Peace Academy, a nonviolence training and consulting organisation based in Oakland, California.
Through the use of these and other tools, she supports groups and teams to find ways of working that reduce harm by understanding and sharing practical skills to address the impact of systemic racism and oppression. She has over 20 years of experience in senior management positions in nonprofit organisations in communications, fundraising and human resources. Leonie is also a certified trainer in Nonviolent Communication, through the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC).
Dan Mahle is the Chief Culture Officer at Dan Mahle Consulting where he has a passion for partnering with leaders and teams to build more thriving, equitable, and inclusive cultures. Dan is also the founder of Wholehearted Masculine, a center for the exploration and development of wholehearted masculinities. There, Dan engages in gender-based social advocacy and leads programs for people who seek to co-create and participate in healthier cultures of masculinity.
Dan also serves as an Executive Coach & Consultant with Evolution (a coaching, consulting, and investment firm) and as a Senior Advisor and Consultant at Sagely (a DEI consulting firm). As a writer and frequent podcast guest, Dan has been featured in Everyday Feminism, The Good Men Project, The ManKind Podcast, YES! Magazine, and Crosscut, among others
Leaning Into Conflict: Why Engaging in Generative Conflict and Repair is Vital for Aspiring Allies in DEI
Watch a recording of our recent fireside chat to get a better feel for who we are and how we approach this work:
